What's SO great about 08?

Well generally speaking I'm a fairly optimistic person and while my 2007 has been filled with more than it's shares of ups and downs (for once it seems like an equal balance of both cons and pros) I'm not yet convinced that 2008 is the year of greatness and new beginnings as i have so heard. I know it's usually customary to do my ye olde year in review I have grown tired of doing that. In with the old out with the new. While I hate making new years resolutions I definitely wish to make a list of things I'm sick of doing that have occurred either in the past year or the past several years.

- Planning Events back home (this has been at the top of my list ever since recent NYE planning did not go well...I'm sick of trying to put things together that no one seems to appreciate...it's common courteous to at least call, hell txt me, saying hey i can't make it...simple as that...people don't seem to realize all the hard work that has actually gone into me doing things...so you can kiss ur little events, and birthday parties goodbye)

- Having Loser Friends (there are just some people I need to part ways with and I'm sick of their lame attempts of being my friends please do us both a favor...stop it's less stressful this way)

- Looking for Support where I know I won't get it (well...self explanatory I'm going to stop seeking for certain people to support me on certain things in my life it's obvious how they don't even support me in the slightest, I'm not asking u to change ur beliefs believe as you wish as I do...but considering things I wish to do are legal and non-life threatening was a little support too much to ask?)

These are the only things I know I can actually dedicate to changing so while very similar to new years resolutions I like to think of them as goals because I'm tired of everything...not because it's a new year...the timing is just oh so ironic. Looking forward to this year of "greatness" and "new beginnings"; oh joy...

-KiraKatja

This is a Test

Please ignore this blog post I'm just testing my mobile blogging.

-KiraKatja

Always Something huh?

Well...once again it has been a very long time since I have last updated (almost 2 months since my last update). Many things have changed since my last blog. I had a wonderful semester this year and got involved in many things. Including my audition which i go through and I'm in a show at school now. Yay! It's about time! I've had an exciting, stressful, angering, fun, and crazy semester but one thing is for sure I'm glad it's over.

Yet instead of being able to relax and enjoy my winter break I am instead sitting here trying to debate between two very life altering situations. Both of which have their own pros and cons the problem is I just really don't know what to do. I'm at a total loss! I've consulted many 3rd parties on the situation but still I remain unsure of what I can do. My stress reliving winter break has turned into yet another stressful event that i must give attention to.

Don't get it wrong I'm enjoying my break and I'm enjoying being off of school and this isn't going to ruin my break. This stressful thought just comes to me when I'm not out gallivanting with my friends. Well everyone if I don't get to post the nite b4 Christmas...Merry Christmas and have a happy new year!!!

-KiraKatja

Stranded

Wow! It's been a while since I've posted a blog. Well life is nothing like the last blog i've posted. I've found many things to do. I'm involved in quite a few clubs and my social life has resumed it's usual butterfly-like status. Alas what could possibly go wrong. Oh wait yes, there is something. What may this be? Well I'm typing this blog in airport. Why you say? Well it all started in traffic. I got stuck in traffic and missed my original flight but luckily when I got to the airport they were able to book me on another one. You'd think my problem would end there but no! I'm now stuck in another airport (i have to transfer) because the flight I was on that would have allowed me to make in on my plane just in time...did not work out I got here on time but my flight left early. The madness!!! Now I'm on standby for the next flight STANDBY which means there's a possibility that I might not be on this flight. And the next one that leaves after that doesn't depart for a few hours. *sigh* All I can say is this really sucks

-Kira Katja

A Simple Yes No or Maybe would Suffice

Well I'm back in school and in my new apartment and while I do love having my own space and especially love being off campus for some reason I am unable to find myself ecstatic or at least a higher level of happy. Something feels different about this year. Maybe it's because I haven't really done anything, or gone anywhere. I mean granted I've been out a few times to see a friend, to eat lunch, to get some groceries and such but for all intensive purposes I feel as if I have accomplished nothing w/my life since I have been here. Since one of my roomies joined a sorority she's been in and out and when she's in she always seems to be doing something for it. I don't think it's bad in fact I commend her for doing something. My other roommate, eh she comes and goes as she pleases, she works regularly tho, and if she's not working it seems like she has something to take care of.

And what do I do? I get up and I don't really do anything, i don't really have a car so it's hard for me to get from point a to point b. Sure my roomies say that they will give me rides to places if I need to and for that I'm very grateful but I hate relying on them I feel like I'm interrupting their lives. My point is that the are doing things and I am not. In a strange way I'm looking forward to when classes start so that I can have something to do. And sadly that's so depressing that I look toward that. Hmmm...maybe this year I will join another club if I find one to be of interest. Because those of you who know me well know that I have to stay busy to be sane and rite now I'm starting to tip of the brink of sanity...

-KiraKatja

Suprized? Me? Never!

Upon having nothing to do in this, the wee hours of the morning (well not really but that just sounds better for this) my mind began to wonder. It went though many things yet the most important being that i love suprizes. They're fun it's nice to never see something coming yet i've never really had suprizes in my life really (not ne welcome ones neways). For birthdays when i did have a party (which was like once or twice) i knew about it. When I'm venturing somewhere new w/friends i knew about it. Just so many things and events in life where I would have loved to be suprized and now never will be. There are many things I want to do but the problem is i don't want to come up w/it myself...u kno i want other ppl 2 come up w/it. I always plan things...and while i enjoy planning it's nice just once not to plan. I'm tired of finding the new clubs, the new resturants, the new places and gathering ppl 2 go 2 them. Once again yes i like planning but just once one in life i'd like to have some unknown thing awaiting my attendance. I've done many suprize things 4 ppl but *sigh* no one ever does 4 me. I'm not trying 2 sound selfish or nething but just once I want to be told hey we're gonna go somewhere, or put on thus and so and tell me nothing more. The further problem w/this is now it is known that I wish 2 be suprized and if someone gets the idea...is it still then a suprize. Guess I'll always kno what's coming in my life event wise :(

-KiraKatja

PS. After typing this blog I closed the windows I had pulled up of new resturants I was looking to venture out to. Sad thing is soon, one day, I will be the one taking someone or some ppl to one of them for some non-siprising 4 me event...

An Ode to Google

Okay so this isn't really and "ode" because one i lack creativity of the poetic variety and two, it's way too early/late to come up w/something uber awesome and bearable lol. But I would just like to congratulate Blogger...and more importantly Google for becoming the new owners of my soul, if i had initial possession of it that is (sorry Dauragon)...actually that's a funny story maybe i shall tell it sometime. Anyways, I have slowly realize Google is becoming more prominent in my virtual life. My iGoogle page is now my home page, I now check my gmail account more frequently than any other e-mail account, Google is the first and now only search engine i use when searching for things on the lovely internet, instead of mapquest i use Google maps more now. It's just...they have taken everything i even need to do online and put "Google" on it. And u know what? It's working...Oh no...their slow domination of the world is beginning...someone warn the people!!!

-KiraKatja

Fourtuneless Cookie

In the usual tradition of eating Chinese food out we received fortune cookies at the end of our meal. I always love getting fortune cookies when I'm out w/my beloved because our fortunes are always interesting and relevant. However when I opened my fortune cookie there was no fortune. Yet much like the Asian Mailman (see 7/26/07) this has nothing to do with what i wish to initially talk about.

Today I had the pleasure of coming across a very interesting article "For the Love of Xenu", an article about how Scientology is not a cult. I do recommend reading this article or at least skim through the article before continuing reading this. Before you think I practice Scientology, I do not...the article just interests me and I have in interest in all religious because i'm fascinated by them. Throughout the article the author (Mark Oppenheimer) makes some very valid points.

Once again I'm not trying to justify the validity of Scientology but the article says a lot of thought provoking statements. I guess if the main point of this article were to be summed up it would be on particular paragraph in the article:

"Religions appear strange in inverse proportion to their age. Judaism and Catholicism seem normal—or at least not deviant. Mormonism, less than 200 years old, can seem a bit incredible. And Scientology, founded 50 years ago, sounds truly bizarre. To hear from a burning bush 3,000 years ago is not as strange as meeting the Angel Moroni two centuries ago, which is far less strange than having a hack sci-fi writer as your prophet."

In the end I just don't see why people can't just practice religious tolerance. I know that what I believe is not what someone else believes, and what other people believe some won't agree either, but that's what is so great about diversity. Life would just be so much easier if we don't devote so much time and effort to subjecting others over religious, or "religious" matters. So many problems through out the centuries have it roots in someone not agreeing with what relgion another may practice. I could go on and on about this...but i figure i'll spare you all for now...

-KiraKatja

Asian Mailman

Asian Mailman

The first thing I'd like to so is that this is by no means meant to offend neone..but if it does, I'm sorry. So I was sitting waiting to get some documents and the mailman came into where I was waiting and I realized the mailman was Asian. I've never seen an Asian mailman before, there's always a first time for everything. However, the wonderful Asian Mailman is not the point of this blog.

I had been waiting for these documents in a semi-crowded business and after the crowd diminished I was STILL waiting. While I was waiting I've come to the conclusion bureaucracies...are very VERY irritating and ANNOYING! For those of you unfamiliar w/what a bureaucracy it's (i'm not trying to undermine anyone's intelligence just trying to be informative) it's " [an] Administration of a government chiefly through bureaus or departments staffed with nonelected officials...[m]anagement or administration marked by hierarchical authority among numerous offices and by fixed procedures" (Courtesy of the American Heritage Dictionary).

All this going through the middleman is really annoying, the filing and sorting all to do one thing i've had just enough w/it. In fact i think Futurama did a good job of displaying such things. Here watch this:



Long story short...I hate the DMV

-KiraKatja

Silent Speech

Over the past few years I've come to many conclusions but one I've recently decided to let resurface is the constant fact that no one listens to me. Don't get things twisted I'm not some loser who has slipped into the social outskirts that is obscurity I'm merely referring to when I give advice and encouragement to people. It's one of the reasons why some people view me as such a positive person. However when I seem to give advice to people they never seem to listen, i'm not claiming to be the uber awesome and all knowing guru but I'm usually right in my advice giving. When people do the opposite and realize i'm right they're all like ooo...I should have lisened to you. Well duh!

Then there's my classic encouraging...I'm always helping someone through their difficult times. When they are all like "oh no i can't do this" or "i feel like i'm this" or blah blah blah. I say nonsense (if possible) and encourage them saying they will get through something, or they will find the answer, or do something right, or whatever needs to happen. And of course it happens and they say oh well gee *insert what I said in the first place* and I always respond "see" or "i told you that" One would think after all these years people would heed my advice...but alas no...so while I shant slip in to social obscurity I will certainly consider not telling people things anymore. It's not like they ever listen

-KiraKatja

Edit: Not moments after posting this blog did i encourage and give advice to someone...*sigh*

Ooooo...Hostility!

On the way back from dance class today this woman got on the bus and from the moment she got on the bus to the moment she hobbled off she had this awful frown and glare. And I thought about all the other people I've randomly seen walking around like the world just shot and killed their puppy. They just seems so mad w/life and angry at the world. How can you just walk around like that? When pepole are crazy angry it's scary, concerning, and very uninviting. How can their mood to change if they don't cheer up. At least when people are crazy happy it's only weird and perhaps slightly annoying but this frustration that some people carry just seem so blah.

Nothing can ruin a day quite like seeing some one who looks so angry for such a long time, especially when you are having such a pleasant day. Also being angry for a long time can have negative effects on your health and even shorten your life. Why risk all of that just to be pissed off at the world. I'm not saying that you can't be angry or saddened, or depressed at all because it's life you're bound to feel that way eventually. Just acknowledge the feeling, feel it, and depart from it! So please for you own health try to be happy. Even if your not fake it you might be surprised how after faking happiness for a wee bit you will may trick yourself into being happy.

In fact let's try it now. Today is President Bush's Birthday (bleh)...so take a breath and put on your smile...

-KiraKatja

Well I Was...

Today I awaken feeling refreshed. I had slept an hour past my normal time and there seemed to be back to back episodes of Foster's on earlier. For those of you who are familiar with my rather dreary summer days of accomplishing nothing, feeling useless, and being unable to obtain a job...today was obviously a good day. I felt as if things were going well...but as they say if something is too good to be true it usually is. I found myself suddenly facing a problem to which I had no response. It's not that I wasn't aware of its existence I suppose, it's just that I hadn't really felt that way. Needless to say I'm glad it was brought to my attention but the timing was just kinda unfortunate...seeing how as today was one of my few descent days...But alas...what can you do?

-KiraKatja

Reguardless

I find that sometimes personal beliefs seem to get in the way of support a lot. I'm speaking more so on the level of friendships right now than anything else. What triggered this latest rant by yours truly? Well a friend of mine was talking about one of their friends that was getting married and how it would be a sad wedding. The only "sad wedding" I could think of would maybe a the equivialnt of a shotgun wedding? I mean sad and wedding are just two words that don't really belong together especially after one another. So I was wondering how could a wedding be sad...turns out her parents were not at the wedding. Oh well that makes sense right, your rents not being at one of the most major events of your life that defiantly makes sense. But I didn't recall my friend mentioning anything recently about going to a wedding so i inquired. I don't remember you saying anything about a wedding.

Turns out they didn't go and when I asked why I was even more surprised. Turns out their friend was a lesbian. They said they just couldn't go because they didn't believe in it. My mind flew off the handle practically, not because they didn't believe in it, because that's their own thing...and their own opinion I'm not going to attack that but I think they should have at least been supportive. I mean you don't have to agree with something a friend is doign all the time but if they are happy and it's not life threatening (ie. drugs or alcoholism) then you should support your friend. I mean am I completely and utterly wrong in thinking this?

-KiraKatja

Low Blow

Every Wednesday my friend Jess and I take this class w/a dance company. In fact recently we've been asked to perform w/them and I'm uber excited but that's besides the point right now. Jess' mom & boyfriend was w/her that day. When we left rehearsal it was around 11ish and since I had to walk around bak Jess & her boyfriend offered to walk me around to the front. So we walked around front and I got into the car. My mom happened to notice that there was a guy w/Jess and being the usual nosey person she is she asked me who the guy was with Jess I mentioned it was her b/f. And I guess since Jess' mom hadn't come around the corner yet she assumed that he was there to pick her up. She responded by saying "Oh how nice I see Jess' b/f picks her up". Where I immediately responded, "Actually her mom is here for both of them"

The point is not that Jess b/f wasn't there to pick her up; the point is what my mom was hinting at. I'm not mad at my mom, I'm just mad at the situation because this keeps occurring. The truth is he's not perfect, I'm not perfect, no one is perfect but you accept things. It just makes me angry that people constantly doubt my choice in romantic partnering and never just accept the fact that hey maybe I'm happy. I'm so sick of having to defend my relationship to people. If they really wanted me to be happy they would open their eyes and realize that I am happy and they would support me in my choice to make this the person the object of my affections. Some of these people haven't even had a relationship for 1/2 as long as the one I am in and they feel the need to give me advice? Well here's my advice to you, look at me, see how happy I truly am, and be supportive...

-KiraKatja

Dance Woes, Job Foes: The Frustration of my Summer Days

Well it's another summer, another summer i'm home, another summer i'm dancing to stay in shape, and yet another summer I reamin jobless. I mean granted there's still time but I Optomistic Lovable ME is begining to loose much hope in acquiring a job...yet again. I tired to teaching dance to kids in summer camp, i applied about a month and a 1/2 b4 the camp was to start, I knew there were still positions open. But I shrugged it off and reamined optomistic, there's still peanty of time and more than enough places. Recently (about 2 weeks ago) I applied to 3 other places and the 1 i hav heard bak from is a no. *sigh* I don't get it I have a awesome resume, I'm a people person, porfessional when need, funloving, creative, so many things...so why is it so hard for me to get a job?

And to top off the frustration of the day, somehow I've like injured my back. I'm hoping it will pass, but I'm saddened cuz i missed both of my dance classes tonite...and no telling what kind of crazy awesome choreoraphy i missed tonite and will hav to pick up next wed. Cuz like the choreographer is awesome but very challenging...and results tend to be miss a class and ur screwed. So hopefully nxt Wed. I will be able to pik things up fast. Plus to top it off i dun think I'm not dancing enough. I mean I'm only in a dance class 3 days out of the week and I'm begning to doubt that it's not enough to stay in shape. I mean according to my Contemporary Professor I wasn't ready and wouldn't sign me for Contemporary III (very important considering this is my concentration...and this act alone sets me bak at least a year!!!) which pissed me off but I'm not gonna get into that anger again...so i obviously need all the dancing I can get. *sigh*

I'm sure my summer will get better...

Right?

-KiraKatja

I'm Done

Well yet another blog, I know I know where will it end? I guess I figured I needed a new place to express my ideas, where a certain parent doesn't know about. Well there's not much to this entry only to say I'm really angry, I mean yes the internet and it's sites are available to anyone, anywhere, and anytime but i figured the rents would at least respect the fact that it is for my friends and if there is something they want to know to ask, or trust that I will tell them if I want...instead of snooping around online for what's going on in my life. Argh! Well I need to remain calm...so *breathes*

- KiraKatja